Lunchboxes everywhere. Crumpled homework at the bottom of a backpack. Forgotten water bottles. It’s easy to slip into the “I’ll just do it myself” mode. After all, it’s faster, neater, and less stressful… in the short term.

It’s a time of big transitions. And during transitions, children often seek one thing more than anything else: A sense of belonging and significance.

Shared Agreements are collaboratively created guidelines that reflect everyone’s voice and values. When kids help create the agreements, they feel a sense of ownership. And ownership increases cooperation.

When we invite kids to be part of the process—when we shift from controlling to collaborating, we give them a sense of belonging and significance. These are the two core needs Positive Discipline reminds us to meet if we want to see lasting behavior change.