The 3 Essential Skills of a Leader

Over twenty years ago at about this time of year, I went to a leadership presentation offered by my alma mater, that changed my thinking completely. You’ve probably had those transformational moments in your life or career when you just know you will never be quite the same. 

I had been struggling in my new role as leadership coach and consultant with the long lists of leadership skills and attributes being published and posted by authorities on the topic. I was completely overwhelmed! How could one person possibly aspire to this level of perfection?

John Alexander, president of the Center for Creative Leadership in North Carolina, US, was the speaker. Under his leadership the center gained worldwide influence as a leadership educator for individuals and groups in government, business and academics. What made me an immediate fan was spoken by Mr. Alexander in the first few minutes of his talk. He said that he too felt daunted by the lists of leadership skills and that in his experience, it boiled down to three things. (Three things?) Leaders must know themselves, understand others and know how to collaborate. 

I remember feeling a huge sense of relief and gratitude, and also a way in. Ah, now I know what I can do to be a better leader and I began.

Years later, this small seed of information helped me recreate a program that had been extremely helpful to me as a classroom teacher and parent – Positive Discipline, into something that could also be shared with leaders and team members in the workplace. I partnered with  Positive Discipline author, Jane Nelsen, to launch Empowering People in the Workplace in Paris in fall of 2018 and it has been growing in popularity since then.

What makes it work is that it too is based on a set of simple (but not easy) principles. The world is changing, and many people are still operating on a rewards/punishments model of human motivation that is outdated and not effective long term. But in order to change it, we need training. The genius of this training is that it is based on adult learning theory which includes giving participants the opportunity to experience different workplace scenarios and then to practice the tools, personalising their experience which promotes change. 

The biggest gain? Even as you learn along-side your team members in the workshop, you are practicing the skills that are needed to become a cohesive, supportive, collaborative and respectful team. You are learning to be a better leader.

Empowering People is a program that is designed to use with a specific team or with a group from different industries. Here’s what one recent participant had to say about the online workshop recently presented:

I've been managing people for over a decade, both large and small teams. After taking a Parenting class in Positive Discipline, I found myself naturally tailoring some of the principles and applying them at work, without really trying. To my surprise, the cooperation, collaboration and dedication of my team increased. So, when I found out about the Empowering People in the Workplace program I was thrilled.

The workshop didn't disappoint - the format was fun and engaging, the content was powerful, and the people in our cohort were wonderful. After the workshop, I developed some quick exercises using the EPW materials that could be immediately implemented into my established team meetings. It was so successful that I now get asked to conduct the exercises to other peer groups. And this time, I'm not so surprised that my already highly collaborative team is that much more engaged, positive and productive. 

Farhana C., Senior Vice President, Business Risk & Control Senior Manager.  

Why now? We all know that we learn a lot from experience, but I believe not all experience is created equal. While we love our wins and successes, we learn most about ourselves in our times of challenge and loss. Now more than ever, we need workplaces that are built to support employees and leaders who know how best to inspire motivation from their teams. This kind of organisation does not happen accidentally but with intention, vision, and training. 

This article was written by Dina Emser, MA, PCC, CPDLT. Dina is certified by The Coaches Training Institute and the International Coach Federation, and has 20 years of coaching experience. Dina co-created Empowering People in the Workplace the Positive Discipline Way with Positive Discipline author and founder, Dr. Jane Nelsen. In addition, Dina is a co-author of Roadmap to Success with Stephen Covey and Ken Blanchard, and in 2009 she wrote her first solo book, Trusting the Fortune Within.