Rethinking Holiday Priorities
“Giving does not only precede receiving; it is the reason for it. It is in giving that we receive.”
— Israelmore Ayivor
Growing up, the holidays always felt magical, but now as a parent, I’ve started to notice something unsettling.
It seems like everywhere I turn, kids—mine included—are caught up in the mindset of wanting more. It doesn’t matter where they come from or what they already have, the focus is always on the next big thing, the latest toy, or the coolest gadget.
Even kids whose families don’t have much aren’t immune to this.
They still come home with mile-long wish lists, asking for things they don’t even truly need. And honestly? It’s frustrating. It feels like we’ve lost sight of what the holidays should be about.
I know kids are just kids, and the culture they’re growing up in doesn’t make it easy.
Ads constantly tell them that happiness comes in neatly wrapped boxes, and society fuels the idea that success is about having more. But deep down, we know that isn’t true. No toy, no gadget, no flashy gift can replace the deeper joy that comes from connection and purpose.
As a parent, I can’t help but feel that this constant cycle of wanting and getting is setting them up for disappointment. If anything, the constant chase for “more” only leads to fleeting satisfaction.
This realization has been a wake-up call for me.
I don’t want my child to grow up thinking her worth—or her happiness—is tied to the things she owns. I want her to understand that the real essence of the holidays lies in giving, in making someone else feel loved and valued.
5 (Quick) Q-Tips on How You Can Flip the Script in Your Family
If you think you’re ready to shift the focus in your home, here are a few simple ways to start:
Create a Giving List
Sit down as a family and brainstorm ways you can give back. It doesn’t have to be grand—small acts of kindness can have a big impact.Start a Giving Tradition
Whether it’s volunteering, donating, or surprising a friend with a thoughtful gesture, make giving a part of your holiday routine.Talk About Wants vs. Needs
Have open conversations about the difference between what we want and what we truly need. It’s a powerful way to cultivate gratitude.This came up for us just this weekend when we lost our heating during the coldest weekend of the year (we NEED heat…we WANT new cozy pyjamas). We also talked about the people we see sleeping on the streets and what we could do to help…the discomfort of not having heat for 4 days was a huge opportunity to build empathy.
Reflect Together
After completing an act of kindness, talk about how it felt. Help your kids connect the dots between giving and the joy it brings. A great book which can help with this concept is, “How Full is Your Bucket?”
I’ll be honest—this mindset shift didn’t come easy for me.
There were moments when I worried about taking away some of the magic. But then I thought: isn’t the real magic found in acts of love, kindness, and generosity?
There are moments when I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, moments when my child pushes back or asks why we aren’t sticking to the “normal” holiday routine.
But then there are moments that make it all worth it. Like this weekend when Chloe decided, all on her own, to make holiday cards for soldiers serving in the military who won’t be home for the holidays with their families.
These moments reminded me that the real essence of the holidays isn’t found in what we get—it’s found in the love we share and the memories we make together as a family.
I believe the way we talk about the holidays with our kids shapes their worldview. If they grow up thinking the season is all about receiving, we miss the chance to teach them about gratitude, empathy, and connection.
And here’s the thing I’ve come to realize: kids aren’t naturally selfish. If anything, they’re incredibly compassionate and kind when given the opportunity. They just need us, as parents, to guide them—to show them that giving can be just as joyful (if not more so) than receiving.
P.S. I’ve also created a freebie with fun activities that you can do with your kids to rethink your holiday priorities. Get your freebie here….
